Thursday, 12 April 2007

Poetry Thursday : Part 2

I would like to thank Brian for offering his line to this weeks Poetry Thursday prompt, the one with all the rules II, his line under endless skies she wore white. This is what his line inspired from me.

Vapour maiden
To the tilting sway of ocean lullabies,
He stood aloft his creaking vessel.

Immersed in maritime harmonies,
And the rhythm of cresting waves;
Hushed, like a babe in tender arms.

He waited for her at the bow;
Patient like a returning soldier's lover.
His eyes scoured the heavens
And panned the entirety of a lavender horizon,
Until she revealed her form.

Light reflections
And atmospheric mood
Determine her appearance;
But today,
Under endless skies she wore white.

A mass of rumpled petticoats
Spill from under her skirts.
They billow with the memory of sweet promises;
Revealing themselves as silver threads
Embroidered into the hem.

A crown of sunbeams strain through soft tresses;
Cirrus wisps trailing behind her.
But with eyes cast down,
She appeared despondent,
For a vapour maiden's life is fleeting.

He gazed upon his illusive vision
Until her windswept fate overcame her,
Smearing her luminous features,
And swallowing her subtle radiance
And gentle form.

Her vanishing breaks the spell cast over him.
Their brief interlude is a window to Her world;
A world where the sea meets the sky at the horizon;
And should he choose to follow her,
A vapour maiden, who will lead him safely home.

© Strauss
11th April 2007


Crafty Green Poet said...

I used teh same line too! Always nice to see the different places people go from more or less the same starting point!

Brian said...

Thank you for using my line. :)

I love this poem, I can smell the sea and feel the spray. So descriptive and flowing; filled with longing and love. Just beautiful.

My poem is posted now.

gautami tripathy said...

I felt nostalgic reading this. I could smell the sea, the air...visualising the images created. Great read!

Clockworkchris said...

I also used this line. It is great to see all the different directions people went with it. So easily adaptable. I was thinking ocean and boat when I first read the line, but I could not write it, being as I know nothing about the sea. I loved the ending "A vapour maiden," what a beautiful thought.

Marie said...

Wow! How romantic! And Thursdays are mine and my husband's date night. I shall have to share it with him. Nice imagery and weaved emotion. ahhhhh, love!

Regina Clare Jane said...

What an absolutely gorgeous poem this is, strauss! It was inspired and inspirational! It made me think of my brother and his love for the Navy and all the ships he was on...
Thank you so much!

writerwoman said...

I used this same line. I enjoyed seeing the way you interperted it. So different than me that it really made me see the line a whole new and remarkable way.

pepektheassassin said...

Very nice!

Scotty said...

Good stuff, Strauss, and 'vapour maiden' is such an intriguing phrase too.

Speaking of Adelaide newsreaders from an earlier post of yours, did you know that Kevin Crease passed away the other day?

strauss said...

Oh gee Scotty. I am shocked. I had no idea me was even ill. How very sad. Thank you for passing that on to me.

giggles said...

This poem is so full substance and romance. The photo brought back memories of being a visitor on the HMCS Athabaska when it came to
Vancouver many years ago!
Iloved the line,"They billow with the memory of sweet promises;Revealing themselves as silver threadsEmbroidered into the hem." So beautiful, the poem gave me goose bumps, my gage for excellence!

Thank you for stopping by my blog!

Peace Giggles

...deb said...


Rethabile said...

Nice. It's interesting to read several poems written from the same line.

Marcia said...

Oh my gosh - this is absolutely beautiful, every word pulled me in.

scribbit said...

That's a terrific picture but I feel quite inferior when I read your poetry. My skills in that area are so sad I'm afraid.

Robin said...

I could see the rumpled petticoats billow...a lovely poem! Mine was not as imaginative. I, did, however, use your line in my poetry line mosaic. Hope you enjoy it!