Friday, 6 April 2007

Poetry Thursday - the one with all the rules II

I wrote this poem a while ago, as you will note by the date, but am posting as part of the Poetry Thursday prompt - "the one with the rules II", which sees participants borrowing from lines of other participant poetry, but a line must first be offered, before a participant can become "inspired" by it - just one line, that is all we are allowed to reveal. So from my poem, In the Bud of a Rose, I am offering the line "If you and I were inanimate things".

I thought it might be interesting to see what people come up with from that line, or how they might use it in a completely different way. Anyway, I am eager to check out the lines left by other participating poets, to see what inspires me.

The deadline is Thursday, should be fun.

In The Bud of a Rose

There's a gulf between us – you and I
A sea, so many leagues deep.
While slumbering restfully in your bed,
It is I who struggles to sleep.

I fret the day and am nocturnally troubled
About the state and future of things.
I wonder if I could possibly live
With the threat this activity brings.

We hardly compare – you and I.
I hide and you expose.
You wear your heart there on your sleeve,
I conceal mine in the bud of a rose.

You shout to the roof tops to proclaim your love-
I express devotion with mime.
I leave no impression when I walk
But your presence is felt for all time.

If you and I were inanimate things
You’d be a poem and I’d be a mist.
I would vanish, in the warmth of the day
-You’d linger in mind like a kiss.

I remain nameless to most kind folk and foe,
But you know me as “friend”,
And my mind's agrieved by this journey you take
And just how this story could end.

But the moon, it still shines there high above
Like a torch light on a stray page.
And although there's a gulf between us
We might see the same moon, at some stage.

© Strauss


Susan Abraham said...

I conceal mine in the bud of a rose....But the moon, it still shines there high above
Like a torch light on a stray page...

These are my favourite lines. Very clever!

And the picture is a dream. Enthralling! :-)

Clockworkchris said...

This is a brillaint poem. I am so suprised by the lack of comments. Maybe everyone read it and was at a lack of words. Really ennoyed all of it but esp "I leave no impression when I walk...
-You’d linger in mind like a kiss." This was my first smile of the day.

Norma said...

I haven't decided whether to participate this week. Seems so similar to the one a few weeks ago. Still I like the line you've offered because I so frequently use inanimate things in my poetry.

Thanks for stopping by.

Marie said...

I was inspired by your lines and so I wrote a little poem. I'm still a bit new at this, but it was fun being inanimate for awhile..enjoy! Marie - Idaho

Here's my link:

Colorful Prose said...

Your line is central to the poem I wrote for Poetry Thursday. Thank you for your inspiration.