The Day Has Arrived

Today, one chapter closes and yet another opens - that's life. And with those deep and meaningful philosophical musings out the way, I will tend to other thoughts....

For those who do not know, these past two and a half years have been spent living a dream - to live and immerse oneself in another country for at least a year - I have spoken about this dream before. Today, this particular dream ends and we commence the journey home to our native Australia - before indulging in a childhood dream of going to Disneyland.

We are merely tourists now. Prematurely, in the midst of psychological displacement concerning ones whereabouts, I entered into a museum guest book, under the heading of address "Australia". I have no address there as yet, but we had recently sold our family home and I was confused as to where I belonged. Do I belong in Australia? I don't know, we'll have to see. I have felt displaced for so long, and have spoken about this in the past also.

One thing is for sure, I am ready to settle - ready to commit to a locale, a residence, a community and a people - home is where you make it. Is it not, and under such pretenses, Canada....or more precisely, Ladner, British Columbia - quietly poised on the Fraser River Delta, has been home for us for the past two and a half years. Our children have grown up there, we have made some very good friends there, we have had experiences there that we would not have had otherwise. We laboured over a rotten house and made it respectable. I am going to miss the friends I have made and I am also going to miss the land.

On Friday I attempted to taken in the surroundings of Ladner one last time. It was Mister's last day of school and all my errands had been done, Missy Mopps and I had only to kill time before picking Mister up from school. It was a bright Fall day, clear blue skies and a fresh breeze that stung my cheeks. We meandered along the school route alley way that ran behind our old place, the poplar trees had recntly dropped a million leaves; it was like walking upon a thick golden carpet. I sighed and said "thank you", acknowledging the uniqueness of the moment.

Yesterday we had a terrible wind storm. The power was out from 6:30am until 10:30 am. We could hear things being tossed about in the gale. Early in the piece, curiosity got the better of me and I ventured out from under my cosy bundle of blankets to witness the trail of destruction first hand. Neighbouring trees bent unnaturally, in the wind; autumn leaves whirled frantically against the fury of the wind, like panicked villagers scrambling for cover admist a surprise ambushing by henchmen and plunderers, while low dark clouds raced across the sky like a team of wild horses. It was a delight upon the eyes and all I could do was stare in wonder.

I had hoped we might yet experience one last snow, but we are leaving just a tad too early, but if I allow myself some quiet time, I can see the white world outside that, which was once my window, and I can hear the dry crunch of snow and ice under my heavy boots as I walked, and the eerie stillness of a land shrouded in a cold blanket - the memory goes with me.

The lush green of this land; its vibrant boating and fishing community; the birds, particularly the geese and mallards, I will sorely miss. In the stifling heat of an dry Adelaidian summer, I have these images to reflect upon, and only experience will tell me if these thoughts, under such opposing conditions, become points of torture or relief - nonetheless, I am grateful of these experiences; of the opportunity to discover and live these moments and to take away these and many more memories. I will miss Canada, and hope to return one day soon, but for now, goodbye and thankyou.

Whistler...you asked for photos

I just got back from Whistler...Brrr, was it cold! Just joking. Ashley took this first picture when he was there with some work buddies in February 2005. He had never skied before, but they took him up the top and left him to his own devices anyway (I guess they didn't want a novice raining on their parade). He came home black, blue and very sore from his falls and near misses into the trees.

This trip I went up with a friend. She and I dared a trip away with the kids, leaving the guys at home to mind the house. Vancouver/Whistler is the future home of the 2010 Winter Olympic Games, but the weather was all summer while we were there - it was grand.

There is so much to do in Whistler. In Winter it is "the place" to go for skiing and the like, so it never really occurred to me to go there in the summer.

Whistler is a village surrounded by mountains. There are two ski mountains, Whistler and Blackcomb mountains, apparently Cougar Mountain is being groomed as a third.

There are numerous trails one can walk during the summer, along with some upper level glacier skiing. At the feet of these mountains are a number of lakes, some glacial fed lakes filled with stunning, turquoise coloured water, while others are regular snow melt lakes; these tend to be dark in colour, mimicking the deep green colour of surrounding pines and fir trees.

We took the kids for a swim in Alta Lake one afternoon. They had a ball, but immediately afterward started complaining of "swimmers itch". It is fine to swim in these lakes, as long as you thoroughly wash yourself off afterward, which we attempted to do, but not well enough, so it seems. The kids were pratically climbing the walls on the trip home, panicking about their itchy legs....it was straight into the bath once we got back to the accommodation.

Whistler Village is a happening place; vibrant and humming, with a multitude of little shops and cafes to duck into and explore. Mountain biking is a huge deal during the summer months. While we were there they were having some kind of competition, that involved an elaborately designed course and some scarily high jumps, positioned at the far end of Village Walk - the shops. Some kid had a bad tumble on one of thsoe jumps while we were there. Not sure what happened exactly, but he was stretchered off the course and the ambulance collected him a short time later - hope he is alright.

There were other biking trails that people could take, further up the mountain as well, but the young people, all walking around with their massive bikes and mud splattered up their backs, brought a great vibe to the village.

Where there are mountians and snow, there must be rivers and the odd waterfall, so not wanting to miss the opportunity to view one, we took a hike to Nairn Falls; trundling single file along a narrow path that dropped straight into the raging Green River below. The rocks surrounding the falls were smoothe and slilppery, even while dry, the result of an ancient volcano that had once spewed lava over that very spot. It was incredible to think that we were standing upon ancient lava.

Salamanders, green tree frogs and the rubber boa constrictor live in the park surrounding Nairn Falls - not that we saw any of these creatures, much to Missy Mopp's disappointment, she was hoping to see the damn snake. Although we did not see any salamanders, we did see four black bears over the course of our stay: a young male (I am guessing) who had crept out of the forest along the highway. We imagined that he was hoping to cross over to the stream on the other side. The other chance sighting was while coming down Whistler Mountain on the gondola. We saw a mother bear with her two cubs, hiding in the shadows of the nearby brush; oblivious mountain bikers riding mere metres away....bit of a worry.

Speaking of the gondola...I think the 25 minute, 6000ft up gondola ride was the trip highlight for all the kids. We adults enjoyed it too, but also the mountain itself. Up there we were really able to take in the vast and breath taking scenery. There are a number of hikes one can take up there, some guided. We chose the 30 minute paleface loop trail, it was perfect for a family with small children. The kids also got a kick out of touching some of the small patches of snow that lay, left over from the winter.

A trip up the mountain is not cheap, $30 for one adult, or $50 for a day trip, but kids under 7 years are free, but when you think about it, you are paying to ride the gondola AND use the park and mountain, so really, it is actually pretty good value, and the scene atop is priceless anyway; well worth the money, even if we weren't up there to ski.

We had phenomenal weather the entire time we were there. We hiked and saw wildlife, and on top of all that, the four kids together were pretty well behaved. It was a great little get away - I would love to experience Whistler in the winter, but that will have to happen time. I doubt we will have the chance to get back there before we go, but I reckon I will remember our trip to Whistler forever.

The long road home

We are coming home.

On the virtual eve of your two year anniversary here in Canada, we have decided that we are going to go back to Australia. We hope to be standing upon Australian soil by December 2007.

We don't know what we are going back to. Things change with the passing of time; places, people, ourselves, and then there are the unexpected things; things that perhaps only we, the removed, will notice.

Things will not be the same once we get back, nor do I expect them to be, which makes me a little afraid, a little uneasy and tentative in expressing my joy to return. I am afraid you will not like the new us, if you perceive there to be a "new us"; I am concerned that you have adjusted splendidly to our absence and there is no longer a place for us in your lives. Our kids don't know you, and you don't really know them; give them time, they will love you, just as we do.

We don't really know exactly where we are going to call home, within our wide brown land; we are hoping Adelaide, so we can be nearer to those we have missed, but the reality is that we have to go where the work is.

So why now....when we initially suggested forever.

Well, the answer to that could very well take pages to explain, and each page might present statements that contradict with the last: I love it here, but I dislike what I have become. I have enjoyed the years of quiet reflection and have appreciated being removed from certain stressful situations, but I dislike the isolation, dislocation from the social and the loneliness. The financial situation here has been crippling, stifling, limiting and suffocating, and yet we hope to return with a good profit. Ashley will tell you his love for sport is one reason he yearns so strongly for Australia, and yet we have not watched a single game of hockey, a sport that rivals Aussie Rules, concerning the inspired passion, and frenzied supporters stakes. We might tell you how soul depleting we found the cold dark months of winter over here, and yet the sight of falling snow was such joy to the heart, that our inner child simply burst with wonderment and playful abandon that we secretly wished it would keep falling like soft feathers, forever. We will tell you that the timing fits with children's schooling so they fit in and make friends, all the while tearing them away from the Canadian friends they have already made. I might tell you that I have missed Australia and am glad or, perhaps relieved to be home, but do not scold me, if I present with a broken heart when reflecting upon my time in Canada, for unlike Australia, which I know to be waiting for us with reassuring welcoming arms, I know my life here in Canada can never be again...it is over and it is done, and it feels a little like the end of a marriage, in some respects....one simply can not go back.

I first fell in love with Canada in 1999, when we spent time there on vacation. I longed to return, and dreamed of one day doing just that, saying that "I could live there"....mind is a powerful thing. But like all fairy tales, they are just that, fairy tales; skimming over the realities of real life and the practicalities of everyday living...no one lives happily ever after; it would be superficial to suggest they do; dismissing a person's growth through the challenges, adversity and the self-reflection they have had to endure.

When we return, I hope to make some good choices. I hope to return, having acquired some wisdom, though I can't tell you what kind of wisdom that is, for at this point, as I am still living in the moment. I hope to return and not make the same mistakes I have made in the past, but really, I don't know where life is taking me next.... taking us next, but I am open to whatever it is.

I just want to live.