Wednesday 23 May 2007

It never fails....

Whenever I use the bathroom, it never fails that either one or both of my children will cause incident during the brief time I am in there. They will follow me and sit, stand or lay next to the door, and either quietly tap the door, thump it violently or yell at me through it, until I come out.

Should I manage the miraculous task of creeping away unseen, it never fails that one or both children will start screaming for me to "come here" and much to my urgings, they will not divulge the reasoning behind my immediate and urgent summonsing.

On the even rarer occurrence where I have managed to venture to the bathroom alone, without being followed; they knowing exactly where I am going, but are too engrossed in whatever it is they are playing to care, it never fails that some freakish mishap or bizarre turn of events should befall upon one or both children in my absence, causing one or both children to scream at blood curdling decibels, which leaves me panicked and helpless in my efforts to speed things along so I can attend to the broken limbs, broken teeth, gauged eyes and split open heads I am imagining I will find upon scrambling out of the bathroom...which, for your information, is never the case, despite the stuck pig-like squealing and squawking going on, or the terrorised tone of the non-injured party who is frantic for me to emerge "quiiiiiiiick"and call 911.


Why oh why oh WHY, can't I use the bathroom in peace...just once?

7 comments:

jeanie said...

Oh I know that one - and I only had 1 - do they time share or double the fun with 2?

I am only just learning to go to the toilet with the door shut again!

shishyboo said...

it must be written in the rule book of motherhood somewhere, every mum suffers the same.

i'll never forget one of my younger brother's kept calling out to my mum when someone was at the door and she screamed out "can't I piss in peace?"

turned out it was the nun from our church stopping by. there was no way she couldn't have heard it

that still makes me chuckle hee hee hee!

Muse said...

ha ha... oh my, I think I've actually peed with a child on my lap. Sorry if that sounds gross... but I think mother's around the globe can relate to this post.

Scribbit said...

I'm in total agreement. In the shower or using the facilities they can sense when you're at your most vulnerable. Or on the phone it's the same thing.

gautami tripathy said...

Children are same all over the world!

jeanie said...

Hey Strauss - you still in the loo?

Brissiemum2 said...

Yesssssss! That is so true! It's either the loo or when I'm on the telephone. They always pick those times to either hassle, harrass, beg, plead or fight! In fact, many's a time that they've found the hidden stash of biscuits when I'm on the phone and excitedly waved them in front of me, knowing that my options are to a) either hang up or b) give in to the opening of the box of biscuits. Hmmmmmm....b) seems to always win hands down on most occasions sadly!