Wednesday, 3 January 2007

The Worst Present EVER

I am not normally one for complaining about gifts. I tend to side with the notion that it is the thought that counts, regardless of whether little thought appears to have gone into a particular should always be thankful and gracious.

But when I read about The Worst Present EVER contest on Mama Rant's blog, I was surprised at how quickly some lovely items sprang to mind.

My Mother-in-law appears to have a gift at finding each and every person's vulnerable spot and then going for the jugular over it. Take one's weight for example... I am not the slimmest person in the world, in fact I might go so far as to suggest I might not even be in shape....AT ALL (see where I am going with this). Needless to say, I don't need to be reminded of this observation, neither in subtle nor unsubtle ways, but my mother-in-law seems to think it well within her rights to point out to me ,and others, when she thinks we might be a tad err...non-skinny.

Having said this, the worst present ever was not presented to me - well not directly anyway. It was a birthday present my husband received from his mother, when he was in his mid-twenties. Now many of her gifts prompt the imaginary question mark to hang over the head like in the comic books, and this was no exception.

MIL hands her son his birthday present and all stand around gawking while he unwraps the gift.
MIL is positively jumping with excitement as the card is read and the wrapping torn away.
And there, for all to see, were two bottles - hair restoring shampoo and hair restoring conditioner.

Onlookers went silent and quickly diverted their eyes. My mystified husband asks her why she bought him hair restorer. "I thought you looked like you were starting to lose your hair", she says before turning it over to me. "Don't you think he is starting to lose his hair?, she asks. "NO!" I say defensively.

My husband is clearly offended, but instead of dropping the subject, MIL begins to point out the imaginary areas on her son's head where she feels hair is a little lacking.

And so, what started as a simple birthday gift between mother and son, has since turned into fear, obsession and paranoia regarding husband's imaginary hair loss.

Gee thanks Mum!


Heather said...

Ha ha,

Now where can I get some of that shampoo. I know a monkey who needs some!

Heather said...

... I also noticed that you didn't post this on your other site, where a certain MIL might see it, or other family members. :)


I didn't make your top 20 list. sniff sniff... I guess I better start blogging again. heh heh.

shishyboo said...

that is HARSH!
nothing says I love you like hair restoration shampoo

strauss said...

Ha Ha yeah I know.
Heather - I only put the public sites on there, but if you don't mind, I will add you (bats eyes lashes furiously)

monkeyinabox said...


A lack of hair is not a bad thing. Some times it is desired. ;)

Catherine said...

GOOD GOD! I shudder at the thought of my MIL ever giving my husband hair restoration shampoo...then again he's been bald a good ten years. But ten years ago she'd have been in big trouble!

I totally admire your defensiveness. :)

Catch said...

kinda cruel of MIL