Thursday, 18 January 2007

stimulating conversation

It has been difficult for me to meet people since arriving here to Canada. For one, I have no one to introduce me into an already formed circles of friends, and people seem a little suspicious of new comers around here. It is a fairly tight knit community.

Slowly, slowly I have edged my way in and begun connecting with people in such a way that they have let me into their lives, but such occurrences have been few and far between. For the most part, I have been left feeling like I have been wading through almost set cement.

On Monday I took the kids to McDonalds. The weather was terrible, so I thought they could burn some energy in the play area after they were done eating. (I feel like I am having to make an excuse about taking them to McDonalds).

Anyway, I noticed two mothers from pre-school - their kids were playing in the play area too.

These mother's had been friendly to me, but merely in a "hi, how are you", in passing kind of way - nothing deep had I been able to really extract from them.

After the kids finished their lunch they ran off to play with the others, and I was all alone. The woman siting facing me smiled, so I mustered all my awkward courage and asked if I could join them. "Sure", they replied.

God, it was uncomfortable. I really felt like an intruder. I was sorry I had asked. I tried to make conversation, but my efforts only went so far.

I think my poor, if not, failed attempt to socialise became apparent when the two women started discussing how irregular their bowels were, and how much fibre they required each day to keep themselves regular. Man!

I was obviously giving them the shits.


shishyboo said...

Being the newcomer is hard, i know exactly where you're coming from.

And cliquey mum groups are the worst, it's like they see you as a threat or something.

Seriously I don't think some women outgrow their childhood bitchiness and others simply don't know what it's like to be the new girl.

I finally discovered that i didn't really belong in any of those groups and found other friends as we crossed paths.

You'll find your place and it's probably not with women who chat about bowel movements over coffee ick!

And don't forget you have your bloggy mates!

Catherine said...

You wanna hear something funny? I was a firm believer that I did NOT like women. Women were mean and backstabbing and petty and psychotic and manipulative and... and then I started a blog. I can't believe how many beautiful, normal, totally-like-me women I have encountered within the last year. Now why do you all have to be spread across the far reaches of the planet is what I wanna know! I've been in Colorado for SIX and a half years and only JUST found a woman that I can swap books and go to lunch on my birthday with.

By the way, I shouldn't have read that last sentence as I was sipping my water. I totally sprayed my monitor!

strauss said...

I think being a newcomer is hard even when you aren't a social moron like me. It is very cliquey here.
I certainly don't fit in.
But man, 6 years is tough. That will probably be me too.
You are both right about the blog mates, I have become acquainted with some wonderful women through this forum.

Miscellaneous-Mum said...

Having moved a state away from anyone I knew,I get where you're coming from. Totally.

That's why many of us turn to the internet, eh?

But I reckon you make equally good friends over the net.

Still, doesn't help much when you'd like daily realy contact with people.

I hope it gets easier soon. 6 years is a long time to wait