more horrors

This morning my husband asked me to go to the local hardware store and get him a new hammer and some sand paper. (Shudder, pasty white face, anxiety chest pains, hot tears) "Sure", I said smiling through clenched teeth.

Mister, Missy Mopps and myself bundled into the car and off we went. It was just before lunchtime, so chaos was not yet reigning, or so I thought......

My plan was to go in, grab the stash and get out as quickly and as quietly as possible, with minimal damage; much like a thief planning to hold up a bank.

In the early stages, the plan was going well. We had managed to infiltrate the building. The most direct route to the hammers was found. With the hammer stash secured, we vied our next target. The sand paper was quickly located. There was now only one obstacle between us and the get away car - a solitary cashier. Unfortunately that is when the plan went to hell.

I had to wait until this one cashier was done serving 5 others before me, and also those requesting information on the constantly ringing telephone.

First, Mister and Missy Mopps ditched the shoes and ran hysterically around the aisles; then they rummaged through some large sharp edged metal thingies, which made an absolute racket when they whacked them up and down on the shelves. Finally, my turn came, but halfway through the debit transaction the phone rang again, and the guy leaves me hanging.

"Don't you care that you shop is being ransacked", I screamed in my head.

Then Mister wanders over:

"Come quick and look", he says pulling my arm.
"I can't right now", I responded in a terse tone, "I am in the middle of paying for this stuff".
"Missy Mopps took her pants off", says Mister.
Bugger the stuff! I dropped my bag and ran.

Missy Mopps had indeed taken her pants off and her nappy (diaper), and was found standing at the display of toilets chanting "poo....wee".

"NOOOOOooooooo!" (that was me....pleading to the God's!)

I did manage to reach her in time and no "damage" had been done - if you know what I mean.
It was so embarrassing. I dragged her clothes back on, paid for my stuff, shuffled the two of them off to the car and vowed NEVER AGAIN to kids and hardware shops, which means that my husband will just have to go to the hardware store alone in future...or perhaps I should send HIM there with the kids.